Well, another day's going by and I have done absolutely nothing creative and/or social. My family hates me for I have sinned. Greatly. Therefore, no money, no cellphone credit, and lack of cigarettes. Because of my acts, mom can no longer show her face to any member of the family. I've done some stupid shit in my day, but this has to be the most fucked up thing I've ever done. I'm way too ashamed of myself to write about what happened. I might have to drop a whole semester because of this shit. Bal. The Becca can't ever trust me again, for I told her what happened after 5 days. I've learned my lesson and promise that I'll never hide anything from her ever again. I thought she would hate me and eventually never speak to me again. She proved me wrong, as usual, but I understand the fact that trust will always be an issue.
It's not like me to stay indoors for hours at a stretch, so I went out for a breath of fresh air and bought some eggs. Returned the rest of the cash. All I need is 10tk... just to call her and ask her if she's alright and if she's having the time of her life, but I guess it's pointless to ask for it. She's out with a bunch of her old friends and I hope she's having a blast... and eating a little, since she lost her appetite.
Fuck I feel so fucking worn out. I think I'll just go read some more. I feel so constricted, it's not even funny. Oh well... hope she calls soon.
Miss you jaan. Atali...